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You Are Totally Not Here


I mentioned we've been hiking (and occasionally running) the trails near our house every morning while we're at home (and how stupid we feel that we haven't been doing this every day for the last 15 years…30 seconds from our door, etc….). Anyway. They've been installing new signage around the park and as we stopped to check out one of them, realized the red "You Are Here" star was WAY off.

This one for the Redwoods isn't even on the same trail. At all.


See the red star? See where I'm pointing? I'm pointing to where we ACTUALLY are.


So we started checking out the other new signs, and there are several that are completely wrong.


This sign is on the Wildwood Trail NEAR an elm (the Camperdown Elm, that looks like a fairy tale character's little enchanted home), but it's on the wrong side of the road, and tells us we're on the Fir Trail. Nope. 


The Maple signage is the least wrong one we found. It's at least ON the Maple trail.


But the sign is actually where I'm pointing, not where the red star is.


I wonder if they know. I guess I could call and try to tell someone. 

In the meantime, I feel sorry for the tourists. We frequently come across people holding maps looking confused, asking how to get to some specific place from where they are and we happily help them find their way. If they rely on any of these new signs, however, they're kinda screwed.

Maybe when we do our next hike we should bring along some gold stars and do a little helpful sticker vandalism. 🙂


  1. This would be hysterical if it weren’t so bloody common. In the age of GPS you’d think the trail maps would be spot on. Maybe a new business eh? Love the sticker vandalism idea . . .

    • Thanks Bruce, we’ve had those and they’re good. I’ve also hand-stuffed olives with hard Danish blue cheese (also good), but my current favorites are the double stuffed olives with garlic and jalapeno. They’re in a low-salt natural brine which is good to add a bit of if you want a slightly dirty martini. I think the brand is Tassos.

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